with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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