I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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