Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
