Who did Billy Mays play for?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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