Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I love having hate sex.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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