I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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