You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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