he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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