And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize