So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
