I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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