Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We're too hungover to prance.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
