So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I have aggressive nipples.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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