I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
