Define "chronic" masturbator.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
