I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
