Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize