I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
