it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Where are you guys?
Drunk
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize