I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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