you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
