omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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