I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
