A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
