Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize