I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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