Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
