Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
