i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
