talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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