just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
