butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
