Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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