I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
