He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
