Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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