Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just found puke in my bra..
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
