Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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