i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
