You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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