Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
