fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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