Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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