well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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