We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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