I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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