last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
