Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i barfeds in our rink
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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