so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This gyro tastes like lonliness
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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