i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
