it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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