last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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