glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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