Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
