i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
