I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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