having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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