I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
