ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
