You made me cry and you don't even care
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
