Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I got inside last night via doggy door
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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