Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
